Fomo and Chronic Pain
If you don’t already know, I’m a little bit obsessed with researching and planning trips. I love doing it. I’m totally fine being the leader in a group of people traveling and coordinating everything. I want to make sure I get the most out of my trips and that the people I love and want to spend time with get to do what they want to do. So, when my friend living out in California said he really wanted to hike Half Dome and plan a Yosemite trip for our group of friends, I was all in. I helped to plan the trip and I thoroughly enjoyed it. See my trip details here. I was not going to hike Half Dome; my chronic pain very much prevents that no matter how much I would have wanted to. That means there was going to be a whole day of my friends hiking together without me around. Yes, there is a part of me that was bummed out and had some fomo, but more than anything, I wanted to get out into nature and I wanted to spend whatever time I could with my friends.
One of my friends even asked me why I was helping to plan and coordinate the trip if I wasn’t going to do the hike, arguably the whole reason we were going. I’m doing it because I enjoy it, I love my friends, and most importantly, I’m not going to sit home in self-pity wishing I could be hiking. There was a time in the last couple years where I would have stayed home and I would have been absolutely gutted and mentally beating myself up for not being able to keep up with my friends. I’ve had to do so much work to get here, to see that if I don’t make the most of the abilities I do have, I’m going to miss out altogether. There will be things I can’t do in my life, places I will never be able to reach, activities I will not be able to do with my loved ones, but it’s up to me to find ways around it and make the most of every situation.
I’m so freaking grateful I was able to go to Yosemite. Being in nature is my happy place and I enjoyed every second I had to soak up the views and explore. I enjoyed my day alone, prioritizing taking pictures and just being outside, not setting expectations for myself and taking my pain as it comes. I was so fortunate to have tolerable pain this trip, allowing me to hike more than I have in a very long time. While I can’t really say why, I do attribute it to my healthier mental state in which I listen to my body and respect my limitations and express gratitude for what I am able to do.
For anyone on their own chronic pain journey, I encourage you to do what you can to get outside and do the activities you want to do. Don’t beat yourself up for what you can’t do - you don’t have control over that. What you do have control over is how you approach every opportunity. Reach out if you ever want to talk through the mental challenges that come with chronic pain 😊
